2 Pies.....For the Price of 1
So I'm thinking about the greatest ambition I have for my life. This came into my head for no reason what-so-ever, and I'm slightyl disturbed on what my brain is going through. First I thought my greatest ambition was just to marry "George". Upon think about that more I realized while that may be the greatest thing to happen to me, it's not something to lable as my life's ambition. So I decided I want to take over Canada.
Now before you get all pissed off at this, or offended, hear me out. I would use only pointy sticks and kitty minions to take over the entire nation. I believe this is entirely feasible because all I really have to fear is the Mounted Police, who will be incorporated into my army of DOOM and lead by a kitty minion general. Now with such weapon choices death and/or injury is greatly reduced compared to conventional weapons. I figure my campaing should only take about a week seeing as a vast amount of Canada is virtually unmanned.
Once I have secured my seat of power I will set up a monarchy with democratic influences. What does that mean exactly you may ask. Well let me tell you my dear sweet reader. It means that while I will rule over Canada as Bitch Master Supreme a la King all of my advisors would not be appointed by me, but rather voted into office. Now you're thinking about a political device to protect the Canadian citizens from my monarchial government. Fuck that, what the hell could I do? I mean really think about it, here in the US we have such devices but are still getting fucked in the ass by our president, so basically it is just national funds wasted on a bunch suit wearing people-type-things.
Now Canada will still be a peace loving nation, but in order to prevent someone from hijacking it that way I did I will institute a kittly minion army of DOOM, and a legion of Pony Riding Super Kitties. I figure I won't have to worry about much because I doubt anyone else sees much of a point in invading Canada, so for now I would just implement ground forces. I might implement killer seals for a navy and a flock of endlessly shitting pigeons for an airforce as time goes on, but that would be determined on the economy and the threat of possible invasion by Bush Jr. Jr. in the year 2056(he had himself cloned).
Now for the economy I would employ a three step action plan. Step one would be harvesting the best and brightest graduates from schools of the culinary arts from aroudn the world. Step two would be building a big ass bakery, and finally step three would base the economy on seeling 2 gourmet pies for the price of one. Of course other goodies would be a part of the economy but the pies would be the main driver.
So there you have it, that's my biggest ambition in life, taking over Canada with a bunch of twigs and cats. BOOYAH!
Now before you get all pissed off at this, or offended, hear me out. I would use only pointy sticks and kitty minions to take over the entire nation. I believe this is entirely feasible because all I really have to fear is the Mounted Police, who will be incorporated into my army of DOOM and lead by a kitty minion general. Now with such weapon choices death and/or injury is greatly reduced compared to conventional weapons. I figure my campaing should only take about a week seeing as a vast amount of Canada is virtually unmanned.
Once I have secured my seat of power I will set up a monarchy with democratic influences. What does that mean exactly you may ask. Well let me tell you my dear sweet reader. It means that while I will rule over Canada as Bitch Master Supreme a la King all of my advisors would not be appointed by me, but rather voted into office. Now you're thinking about a political device to protect the Canadian citizens from my monarchial government. Fuck that, what the hell could I do? I mean really think about it, here in the US we have such devices but are still getting fucked in the ass by our president, so basically it is just national funds wasted on a bunch suit wearing people-type-things.
Now Canada will still be a peace loving nation, but in order to prevent someone from hijacking it that way I did I will institute a kittly minion army of DOOM, and a legion of Pony Riding Super Kitties. I figure I won't have to worry about much because I doubt anyone else sees much of a point in invading Canada, so for now I would just implement ground forces. I might implement killer seals for a navy and a flock of endlessly shitting pigeons for an airforce as time goes on, but that would be determined on the economy and the threat of possible invasion by Bush Jr. Jr. in the year 2056(he had himself cloned).
Now for the economy I would employ a three step action plan. Step one would be harvesting the best and brightest graduates from schools of the culinary arts from aroudn the world. Step two would be building a big ass bakery, and finally step three would base the economy on seeling 2 gourmet pies for the price of one. Of course other goodies would be a part of the economy but the pies would be the main driver.
So there you have it, that's my biggest ambition in life, taking over Canada with a bunch of twigs and cats. BOOYAH!
posted by Betty at 12:44 AM
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